Most of the time when we dine out, we’re presented with a standard “A LA CARTE” menu – the kind that lists individual dishes with separate prices, allowing diners to order each item independently.
A la carte menus, particularly in France, are often complemented by “PRIX FIXE,” or “fixed price,” menus (also called “Le Formula,” “Set Menu” or simply “Le Menu”). Typically, they offer diners a choice of two or three courses (think appetizer, main and dessert) for less than what you’d pay if you were to order each dish separately. The offerings usually come from the à la carte menu, and you get to choose among two or three pre-selected items from each category.
And then there are “TASTING MENUS,” usually found at chef-driven, fine-dining destination restaurants like FRENCH LAUNDRY in Napa, 11 MADISON PARK in New York, or HELENE DARROZE in London. They may involve any number of small dishes, can run hundreds of dollars ($365/person at 11 Madison Park), and take hours to consume. Japanese restaurants’ tasting menus are called OMAKASE or KAISEKI, and in France they’re called DEGUSTATIONS – the more elaborate of which can include up to 30 mini-tastings.
Some tasting menus hew to traditions; others give the chef free reign to indulge his or her creativity, with no rules and few limits.
Tasting menus can be wonderful, even spectacular. Or they can be punishing – a contest between you and the chef to see who will cry uncle first.
The best ones are painstakingly created and curated by chefs to express their culinary philosophy. They may have a theme or point of view. Perhaps the menu will be centered around game or seafood. Perhaps it will be a meditation on the season, a region, or a particular ingredient. Some years ago, one of our restaurants offered a multi-course feast celebrating the magnificent flesh of the Mangalitsa pig. How about a 20-course Italian cheese tasting? Or an 18-course pastrami discovery (well, maybe not.).
The parade and progression of tiny dishes is often punctuated with absurdly wild and crazy, funny, clever, witty interpretations of familiar ingredients. (Note the cast iron meat-grinder bolted right-to the table cranking out ground-up carrots for CARROT TARTARE, one of the 20 offerings on Madison Park’s tasting menu.)
Joanne and I recently had a well-crafted tasting menu in London at CLUB GASCON, a smallish two-star Michelin restaurant, near Smithfield Market. Club Gascon salutes the robust cuisine of, you guessed it, GASCONY in southwest France. The strong flavors of the region did not put us off. Rather, we binged on the affordably priced ten-course tasting menu as we abandoned all dignity and surrendered to the sturdy flavors, textures and aromas from the age-old southwest corner of the Gallic republic. We managed to pleasure ourselves as we plied our way through every tiny course involving foie gras torchon, juicy free-range Landes chicken breast, duck confit on toast, and morsels of Magret duck breast with black cherries – finally ending with their signature caneles (crispy on the outside, custardy on the inside).
But…tasting menus are not for everyone…including me.
There are restrictions and rules. First off, all people at the same table are required to order the tightly structured tasting menu. You get NO CHOICES and NO SUBSTITUTIONS, with NO EXCEPTIONS. (Funny, though, often they WILL offer SUPPLEMENTS to hike the price. Want white truffles rained down upon your tagliatelle? It’s only $50 more).
Which leads me to another caveat: Tasting menus are EXPENSIVE…and possibly exploitative. Generally, everyone knows the range of how much a chicken breast or sea bass dinner might cost. But how do you gauge the appropriate price for a meticulously prepared, exquisitely presented, fifteen-course tasting menu? Is $120 about right? Or $175? How about $275 or $375?…..which leaves the restaurant free to charge black market prices.
Dine at the Michelin three-star restaurant Guy Savoy in Paris and you’ll choose between $400 and $550 menus. Wine pairings not included.
Also, as Julia Child points out, “Not all tasting menus are great, since not every chef is a creator, and those who cannot create copy those who can.” Add to that….how quickly sizzling tiny bites of food can get cold.
Finally, with many fine-dining restaurants abandoning à la carte menus in favor of tasting menus, it can feel like a TASTING MENU ARMS RACE out there. And not everyone wants to sit through a three or four-hour endurance test – especially when they feel obligated to completely finish every last nibble of each and every course.
To wit: Several years ago, we were in Paris with friends and decided to reward ourselves with a splurge night out at LE GRAND VEFOUR, then a Michelin three-star temple of gastronomy. To our midwestern surprise, they featured a 14-course tasting menu only. But, no problem: At a restaurant of this caliber, we expected a culinary symphony of art, flavors, timing, tempo and harmony.
On all those counts, LE GRAND VERFOUR did not disappoint.
What did disappoint, however, was that about halfway through the meal, I felt the dreaded sensation…I WAS FULL!
Even worse, two-and-a-half hours into the meal, MY ASS WAS SORE. I asked our waiter “How much longer?” He replied, “Just a few more hours.”
Around the time of the twelfth course, we were presented with THE PRE-DESSERT. Yes, the dessert BEFORE the dessert. That was followed by the regular dessert, only to be followed by the surprise of a checkerboard of WHITE and BLACK CHOCOLATE TRUFFLES. I don’t recall if I was a VICTIM or a GUEST by that time.
At about the four-hour mark, with the PAIN IN MY ASS now spiraling out of control, came the check – and with it, sixteen one-inch-square, drop-dead gorgeous, BABY BON BONS.
Time to surrender. Time to puke. Time for bed.
Right after we get through the cheese cart.
You know, as elegant and creative and as long as the LE GRAND VEFOUR experience was, sometimes you just want a burger or a platter of fried chicken.
Now…earlier I mentioned absurd creations. Well, here’s one that’s downright CREEPY.
In Italy, nestled in the province of Lecce in the heel of the boot, LORIANO PELLEGRINO, the chef/owner of Michelin-starred BROS RESTAURANT, boasts a $300, twenty-five course tasting menu. His ego got the best of him and he’s way too full of himself. So, he has fashioned a ghoulish plaster casting of his own mouth that is the signature course of the evening. Served with no utensils, this hand-held, baseball-sized orb sporting Florian’s lips and open mouth is filled with strawberry foam. You hold it in your hand, just like French-Kissing you stick your tongue deep into Florian’s hollowed-out mouth. And you lick out the foam. YEETCH!!!!
BTW, I’ve noticed Pellegrino isn’t alone in allowing his depraved ego to worm its way into tasting menus, especially desserts. I’ve seen more than a few phallic representations. When I shared these penile images with folks here at Parasole, the general response was, “Oh, Phil. That’s just your SICK, FILTHY, ROTTEN, PERVERTED MIND that you think you see that kind of stuff.”
OK, I’LL SEE MYSELF OUT.
WTF
PHIL